Fun Dates and Drunken Agreements

Fun Dates and Drunken Agreements

When my boyfriend and I first became exclusive, we drew up an ‘agreement’ as to what each of us wanted/needed to be happy in a relationship. It was just a few lines on a scrap piece of paper, nothing formal. In fact, we were drinking when we did it, which was probably a good thing because it let us be a bit more open and honest.

The important thing is, the act of writing this stuff down made us both take our own – and each other’s – desires seriously. We would look at that scrap of paper from time to time and smile. Being taken out on fun dates and sharing new experiences was one of my core needs. (Note – this was about stuff we wanted, not what we didn’t want – we kept it positive!)

To this day, my boyfriend still plans fun dates and activities for us every week. I actually think he’s taken it on as a kind of personal challenge. Last weekend we went for lunch – southern comfort food – in the church of a basement in Washington, DC. We were the only white people there (at first), and it was a really interesting cultural experience. I never had fried catfish and collards before moving to the US. Another time, we went to a drive-in theatre and pigged out on junk food and laughed at the commercials from the 1950s. We’ve done a scavenger hunt at the Museum of Natural History and been to New York to see a Broadway show. We’ve gotten tipsy at Whole Foods, and ordered five desserts at a restaurant – just because.

I really do believe that in a healthy relationship, you want to make each other happy. So why not tell your partner exactly what you need in order to thrive? In fact, why not write it down?

Guideline #35 of The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto: We Teach Other People How to Treat Us.

Enjoy your day,


Next: First Date Etiquette For Ladies



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Author Adele Frizzell/Sophie Winters

Sophie Winters is the author of two books on dating and relationships. Sophie’s real name is Adele Frizzell. She enjoys travel, hiking, and lifting heavy weights. She is a competitive bench presser, certified yoga teacher, and mountain addict. She loves inspiring people to get more out of life.

Her first book, The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto is written for all the single ladies, while her second relationship advice book, It’s Not You, It’s Us: A Guide for Living Together Without Growing Apart is for couples who want more joy, intimacy and respect in their relationship. She is working on her third book.

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