Signs You May Be Dating a Douche Bag

Signs you may be dating a douche bag

Signs You May Be Dating a Douche Bag is a copy of a guest post for the wildly popular facebook page, I Dated That Douche. The following has been edited from Chapter 8, “Develop Your Douche-ray Vision” in The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto, now for sale at Amazon. 

Do you think you could be dating a douche bag? Chances are, dating him doesn’t make you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Deep down inside, you know something is off. Maybe you just need proof that he’s a bonafide douche, like in the form of a handy checklist. You know, the kind you get in a woman’s magazine that would let you rate his douchery on a scale of 1-10 from Clueless to Super Douche Bag.

Since I’m not a fan of pop quizzes when it comes to relationships, here, at least, are some sure-fire signs that you’re not dating a Quality Man and can do better. Ignore at your own peril.

Signs You May Be Dating a Douche Bag

  • He rarely calls or emails.
  • He doesn’t plan a date (pick you up, make reservations, buy tickets).
  • He just wants to “hang out” (play video games, drink beer, watch sports).
  • He forgets his wallet, so you have to pay. More than once.
  • He emails you Friday to ask you what you’re up to that weekend.
  • He makes last-minute plans (to keep other options open).
  • The first time you have sex (probably at your place, so he can leave) you don’t hear from him for days afterward.
  • His place is a mess, his bedding sketchy.
  • He rarely, if ever, invites you to his place.
  • When he says something hurtful, he says “It was just a joke,” instead of apologizing.
  • He’s secretive and evasive.
  • He makes fun of others, especially visible minorities (overweight, disabled or ethnic).
  • He is rude to waiters and service staff.
  • He corrects your speech.
  • He interrupts you when you’re socializing.
  • He doesn’t ask you questions about yourself, or if he does, they’re very superficial.
  • A lot of his conversation is shallow or sexually oriented.
  • He deflects personal questions.
  • He never “shows you off” to friends or family or in public.
  • He tells you he doesn’t want a serious relationship.

So, how many did you check off?

Ladies, we teach a man how to treat us. What is okay, what is not. If you put up with any of these bad-boy behaviours and say and do nothing, you are not helping yourself or your relationship, or him to man up.

Quality Men (and Douche bags) are born as well as made. Chances are, if you’ve got a Quality Man (or Douche bag) on your hands, you can thank his ex-girlfriends, his mother and all the women in his life for helping to set the bar.

In my book I talk about the importance of trusting your feelings because it’s so easy to rationalize and excuse bad behaviour when you’re emotionally connected to a man. There’s a lot of wisdom in those feelings. Feelings are the compass to your soul. What makes you happy. What makes you feel safe. What makes you feel loved. So, do you think your guy could be a douche? If you’re still unsure, here’s the bottom line –

Guideline #36: If It Feels Bad, It Is.

–  And you can probably do better.

Next: Online dating and fantasy relationships.


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Author Adele Frizzell/Sophie Winters

Sophie Winters is the author of two books on dating and relationships. Sophie’s real name is Adele Frizzell. She enjoys travel, hiking, and lifting heavy weights. She is a competitive bench presser, certified yoga teacher, and mountain addict. She loves inspiring people to get more out of life.

Her first book, The Cha Cha Club Dating Man-ifesto is written for all the single ladies, while her second relationship advice book, It’s Not You, It’s Us: A Guide for Living Together Without Growing Apart is for couples who want more joy, intimacy and respect in their relationship. She is working on her third book.

*Please don’t republish contents of this post without crediting the author. That would be douche-y.  

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